Sacrifice vs. Giving: A Subtle Shift That Transforms Your Career
Do you ever sacrifice your time, energy, and happiness for your job?
You do it because you care and want the best for your teammates and the company. At the same time, you also expect that people notice it, appreciate it, and recognize you for it without you having to boast about it. Especially your manager.
And it feels great when appreciation and recognition come in the form of praise, respect, gratitude, and tangible rewards. But when that doesn’t happen, you feel undervalued and resentful.
In those moments, you might bitterly conclude it’s better to act selfishly. You look at the people in the company who do not sacrifice and resent their success.
But you just can’t be like them! At the end of the day, you do care, and you like doing things for other people. Oftentimes, you can’t even help it. Besides, what’s gonna happen to your career if you stop doing it?
Here is the problem: you are confusing SACRIFICE and GIVING.
But there is a profound difference between the two and the outcomes they produce.
Difference in outcomes: Sacrifice vs. Giving
The drive to sacrifice runs deep: our society glorifies it, and so do a lot of companies. We were raised to believe that, in the long run, sacrifice pays off.
But while the act of sacrifice may look the same as the act of giving, the place where it comes from makes all the difference.
Energy and Control: Sacrificing depletes your energy and makes you feel out of control. Giving, however, energizes you. It’s about setting boundaries and choosing intentionally where your energy goes.
Value and Recognition: Sacrifice often goes unnoticed, while giving is seen and appreciated. When you give, you’re recognized for your contributions, which boosts your morale and motivation.
Relationships and Trust: Sacrifice can breed burnout and resentment, damaging relationships. Giving builds trust and strengthens connections because it comes from a place of abundance and intention.
Personal Fulfillment: Sacrificing can make you feel like a martyr, while giving aligns with your values and purpose, leading to greater personal fulfillment.
“While the act of sacrifice may look the same as the act of giving, the place where it comes from makes all the difference.”
Consider this:
Staying late at work because you feel you have to (sacrifice) — vs. — intentionally choosing to stay late because you want to finish a project that excites you and will benefit your team (giving). The former drains you; the latter fuels you.
Helping a team member out of sheer obligation, even when you're already swamped (sacrifice) — vs. — intentionally choosing to help because you know your guidance will significantly impact their success (giving). The former breeds resentment; the latter helps to build your relationship and reputation.
Joining every meeting you're invited to because you think that’s what they expect (sacrifice) — vs. — intentionally choosing to attend meetings where you can contribute valuable insights and drive meaningful outcomes (giving). The former wastes time and energy; the latter ensures your presence adds value.
The key difference: INTENTIONAL CHOICE.
When you sacrifice, it’s easy to believe it was a free choice. But more often than not, sacrifice feels like the ONLY choice. It comes from a place of fear and insecurity: ‘If I don’t help, what are they gonna think of me?’ Sacrifice is giving by default.
On the other hand, giving comes with a clear intention about the consequences it's going to produce in both the giver and the receiver. Giving is by choice.
“Sacrifice is giving by default. Giving is by choice.”
How to make the shift?
Here’s how you can start making a more profound shift from sacrificing to giving:
SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES: Know your limits and communicate them clearly. And then stick to them. This prevents you from over-sacrificing. A question you can ask yourself: ‘Would I enjoy doing this or do I hope that someone else jumps in?’ If the latter is the case, you are in the realm of sacrifice. Either adjust your attitude or say no!
ALIGN WITH YOUR VALUES: Focus on giving in ways that align with your personal and professional values. This makes your contributions more meaningful. A question you can ask yourself: ‘Do I find meaning and value in doing it or am I driven by sheer obligation?’ Again, either adjust your attitude to find value in it or refrain from doing it.
SEEK MUTUAL BENEFIT: Look for opportunities where your giving creates value for both you and others. This reciprocity enhances satisfaction - your own and the people on the receiving end. A question you can ask yourself: ‘What do I secretly hope to get in return?’ If the answer is nothing, it’s probably an act of giving. And if you do expect something, communicate it! Saying your expectations out loud will decide if the act was giving or sacrifice.
REFLECT AND ADJUST: Regularly assess where you might be sacrificing and how you can shift to giving. Small changes can lead to significant improvements in your well-being and career. A question you can ask yourself: ‘How do I feel (after doing something for someone)?’ If the answer is happy, fulfilled, energized, it was probably giving. It the answer is bitter, empty, drained, it was probably a sacrifice. Reflect back on the moment right before you acted. What can you learn from it? What will you do differently the next time?
Sacrifice often feels like a loss. You're giving up something valuable without expecting a meaningful return. It feels and looks forced. It often goes unnoticed, and when people do notice it, most of them feel uneasy and obliged. And it leaves you feeling depleted, unappreciated, and resentful.
Giving, on the other hand, is empowering. It's an intentional choice to contribute your talents and energy, knowing it creates value for others and yourself. When you give, you're investing in relationships, growth, and fulfillment. It’s a joyful act and people notice the energy. And they often feel grateful and happy to return the favor.
“Sacrifice feels like a loss. Giving is empowering.”
By shifting from a mindset of sacrifice to one of giving, you'll find more joy and fulfillment in your work. You'll be more in control, feel more appreciated, and build stronger, more trusting relationships.
Feeling stuck in the cycle of sacrifice at work? Let’s chat about how to make this shift with my career coaching.
Apply for a 45-minute free strategy session and let’s see if we’re a good fit.
